We will get the Power of SEX!

Don't judge me if I did the TALK right or wrong, its just how I did it, I am sure there is room for improvement.......I wasn't sure whether I wanted to put this on my blog or not but I have had so many questions on how it went, here it is!  I also think talking about SEX is something we don't do so in order for it not to be awkward I am putting it out there for everyone to read.  Sorry if its offensive!

It has been on my mind lately something I need to do soon........the more I thought about it the more I thought I would do it at the end of summer and just do both girls at the same time.  My friend Heather came over yesterday and brought me a book called......How to Talk to your child about Sex.   Heather told me to tell Lizzie sex is an amazing, wonderful, spiritual experience.....I am pretty sure her and I are having different sex....its more like hurry up, I'm tired, do we have to, I have a headache, is that Evan crying, again really? I was going to read it in my free time.   Her and I talked a lot about it and I have talked a lot to another friend about it who just had the talk with her daughter. I have also done a lot of research (you know pinterest) and thought about doing a chastity contract and decided the contract to remain a virgin is between them and God.  So here are Sarahs Steps....Being Prepared Step 1!!!!!!!

I thought everyone had gone to bed last night and I was sitting in my chair reading......"Sex is like a big hug"........lol.....ya right! Lizzie came down stairs and I forgot to cover what I was reading.  She read the title and said, "GROSS!"  I thought she had never heard the word before........so I asked her how she knows that word. She said friends at school talk about it. She is only in 4th grade!  I felt like a huge failure...I WAS SUPPOSE TO TELL HER!  I missed my chance!  She is not a clean white slate anymore!  Step 2 talk to your child before they hear the word from anyone else!! Age 9 is too late!!!

So I put Evan and Maddie to bed.  It was 10pm and I popped some pop corn opened a pepsi.  I walked to the girls room and told them I had a movie to watch with them. This was the movie, we watched the coed one, for both boys and girls http://www.pgschoolprograms.com/parents.php They were super excited...oh how I wish I could be so excited.  We said a prayer and I started the movie! Step 3 anything is possible with popcorn and a Pepsi!

The first 15 minutes of the movie was all about puberty.  This is nothing new to them, they know all about puberty.  They have read the American Girl Book......



They know about your period, arm pit hair, pimps, deodorant, tampons, pads, pubic hair.  They only had about a dozen questions on puberty which were:

1. What if it starts at school?

2. What if it starts in the shower? What if we are in the shower together and I get blood on Emmie?

3. What if it starts in aunt Wendy's swimming pool?

4. What if it starts while mom is not home?....Emmie then said I am always home and that I am a stay at home mom.....Liz said I sometimes go to the doctors and I am not home.

5. Does shaving hurt?

6. Do I have to shave my bikini line or can I wear shorts instead......which lead to a big discussion on dressing modestly......love that part....they decided they want takinis this year so they can have shorts.

7. Does shaving tickle your arm pit?

8. Do I have to wear a tampon?

(that's all I can remember)
Step 4 was puberty for girls including Modesty!

Alright easy part done...I should have stopped there....but I must press forward.  I then told them boys go through puberty they asked if boys bleed and when I told them no they decided it was super unfairly!!! I told them about their voices changing and body hair and finished the movie about boy puberty. Before I started this talk my friend was texting me BONER BONER BONER (another friend not one of the 2 mentioned before....she has 3 daughters and is getting ready for the talk)......so when the video explained boner it didn't even bother me.  That leads me to step 4 which is really the most important step for me......Step 5 support group! I could not have done this without a big support of friends telling me I could do this and texting me inappropriate things (I had a hand full of friends doing this for me....thankyou!!!)!   

Step 6 Sperm! Pressing forward....we went over that a man gets hard and ejaculates sperm the word wet dream was mentioned.  They asked me about it and I told them honestly I have no clue, I do not have a penis! It has a mind of its own!!!! lol.....back to serious...........I then said the sperm is what fertilizes the egg inside of you.  I asked them how that would happen.....they really had no clue.   I decided to start interjecting (not ejaculating) spiritual points....I really confused them then...I said when you keep yourself pure and clean you will go to the temple and get married and sealed for time and all eternity and afterwards you will give yourself to your husband for an amazing, spiritual experience...thanks heather....so then Lizzie says....we will get the power of SEX!!! Oh boy I really screwed that one up....I said no, anyone can have sex but you wait until your married for it to bond you as husband and wife and commit you to one another.  To be honest I was really lost at this point.  I went back to my original question.....How do the sperm and egg meet up and join?  Still no clue I said.....I said it plain, clear, and bluntly....."The man puts his penis inside the vagina" and this is what I got....

1. So do you do this in the doctors office?

2. The dentist office?
3. A store in the mall?
4. Does a specialist put the penis in for you with gloves?
 I am so screwed....They want to know where you have sex? Really? Why is this happening to me? So I tell them you do it in the privacy of your home.  Then they asked of course.....Where do you and dad do it?  Can you tell us all the places you have done it? (lets be honest everyone has the most embarrassing place they have done it......I did not go into that)

STEP 7 Answer 100 Questions!They are still confused....they now understand you do it at home and not at the doctors, and no one helps them....but they really have no clue what sex is.....and lets be honest I really have no clue either! Then all the questions come......like one after another after another, never ending ....... One and a half hours to be accurate!!!!

1. So do you just move your underwear over a little and the penis goes in real fast?

2. How long does it take.......8 hours? (yes Liz said 8 hours)

3. Do I have to touch the penis?

4. Can I close my eyes?

5. Do I have to take my shirt off?

6. What if I don't ever want to have sex?

7. You and Heather are girlfriends do you guys have sex?

8. Can you have sex standing up? Sitting down?

9. You have four kids so you and dad had sex four times?
10. Why would you have sex for fun with dad, it does not sound fun?

This took us to sex being between a man and women we read the family proclamation. Then to sex positions (why me), and that it will not be gross.  It is hard for them right now because they don't have hormones so they don't understand the wanting to do it part. I let them ask all the questions they wanted to about sex and I feel like it went well.  I never stopped them when they asked questions and I answered them correctly, nothing was awkward or gross! 

Step 8 Back to the Penis!Well it was over and done with until they had more questions about this penis thing....they asked every possible question about it (size, shape, hardness, softness, compared it to different things) and we got into circumcision.......so I showed them the video on circumcision.  Lizzie then said the funniest thing.....So when I am dating someone before we get married I should ask him if he is going to circumcise our son and if he says yes I should not marry him?  Oh boy!....I told her no and  circumcising your son would not be a marriage deal breaker.   She then said she would show him this video.

I did not talk about STDS, or condoms, or birth control.....though it did cross my mind to scare them to death!

We also talked about sexual abuse and no one should touch them and how we don't touch our self's either.....I did not go into great detail on masturbation.

So they know about sex.  I hope that gives us open communication so when they started getting hormones and understand the feeling better they can talk to me.

I asked them this morning when they woke up if they thought of any more questions they said No, and I reminded them not to talk to friends at school about it and that it is a personal topic.